Thank you, June
Dear JUNE. You have been a treat.
While utterly, bone-achingly exhausting, you have shown me the BEST of people again and again.
Penny and Brian’s wedding was a WHIRL. A blast. The aftermath still consumes most of the open spaces in my home…
The best part? Other than the darling couple, obviously… were all the HANDS that magically showed up over the week to help in a million ways. My heart is in a permanent state of AWE with the service that others so delightfully and readily share.
It felt like I FINALLY had a ‘house brownie’ (you know, from Spiderwick Chronicles - the almost invisible household fairy that makes everything immaculate).
Sadly, I do not appear to have my very own permanent HOUSE BROWNIE. After the festivities, we pivoted head first into FULL end-of-the-year mode with school trips, soccer, and Pippa performing in the most darling theatre play ever (she was a Munchkin and Winkie in ‘Wizard of Oz’). Each event was another testament to all the HANDS that consistently fill in the gaps that allow all the things HAPPEN.
So June… cheers to CHAOS that opens my heart to all the WONDERS of people and their goodness.
You have humbled me again and again. There was one point during the wedding PARTY (reception just sounds too STODGY), that I realized I had not organized enough proper help and was rather devastated with my aversion/stubbornness toward asking for assistance… only to find my kids, sisters, nieces/ nephews, and friends cheerfully floating between the tasks like fairy god-mothers, bringing enchantment everywhere they went.
My HEART might have melted… to witness such GENEROSITY.
Rather my chest was quickly filled with LEAD as panicked that I could NEVER repay all the service. Yet again, a vice quickly began to suffocate my heart as the weight of never-ending debt settled in - I was already so very tired. The voice that whispers ‘you never enough and you ask too much - you need hide-away and stop imposing’ was quickly gaining volume in its persistence. Shame is an old friend for most of us, I think…
Luckily, I have a wise eldest DAUGHTER that promptly reminded me that all the service was extended with delighted WILLINGNESS - they were not transactions. The ROCKS in my chest were my doing, out-dated company that has long outstayed its welcome. My existence is not a DEBT and goodness does not carry sneaky, invisible contracts with damning obligations.
Generosity is not MARTYRED goodness - that is only a sly MASK that protective self-perseverance wears.
THANK YOU, June…. my heart is FULL and learning to melt.
EOS Rebel Ti Film camera, Kodak Gold 200